Your “permission slip”
Gene Mage
At work and in life, too often we act as though we are
waiting for permission before getting our “act” together. In an honest moment of reflection, we must
admit that we really do know how we could live if we made the choice to reach
our full potential. But something holds
us back.
Not unlike a child throwing a tantrum, we hurt ourselves in
protest against the pain we have experienced, and the apparent injustice of it
all. People should have treated us
better. Things should have been
different. Nevertheless, they were what
they were, and all we have is tomorrow.
Does punishing ourselves with poor choices really help make the past
right?
On the contrary, many a man or woman has been able to put
the past behind them by living well today.
Looking back, those who have overcome their pain find ways to put it
into context. They embrace the
learning. They take courage at having
survived hardship. They discard all
their phony airs. They become a comfort
to others.
If you are ready to put some things behind you, but have
been waiting for permission to get started, consider this column your
“permission slip.” Here are some ideas
to get you started.
- You have permission to forgive. Unless you have been living in a cave,
you have been hurt and offended by others.
When you hold grudges, you only punish yourself. The “perpetrators” have moved on. You do the same.
- You have permission to be kind to
yourself. You are not God. It is not your job to judge and punish
yourself for your mistakes. God
forgives you. Do you know better
than He does?
- You have permission to admit your
mistakes. You are not
perfect. Everybody knows that. Admitting you made a mistake does not
make you flawed; it makes you authentic.
- You have permission to love. No, other people do not deserve to be
loved. But aren’t you glad others
treat you better than you deserve?
You might get hurt if you love.
You might be exposed for whom you really are if you love. Take the risk.
- You have permission to mess up. I once heard that, “Show me a person who
never makes a mistake, and I will show you a person who never makes
anything.” So what if you make a
mistake? Golfers, baseball players,
investors, and sales people frequently miss the mark, and still become
fabulously successful.
- You have permission to be wrong. You and I are wrong all the time. We misinterpret the data. We do not have perfect information. How liberating to feel free to change
one’s point of view from time to time.
- You have permission to get hurt. If you wish to live from this day
forward without unexpected painful experiences, you choose to live within
a self-made prison. You will get
hurt, and that is okay. As the US Army Survival Guide notes, “Pain
is not hazardous to your health.”
- You have permission to be
self-disciplined. I challenge
you to smash through the paper walls of short-term pain to experience the
lasting benefits of long-term gain.
When swimming season begins, jumping in to that cold water is
momentarily painful. But the sense
of well-being that accompanies physical fitness quickly overcomes the
shock of the cold water. After a while,
what was once painful becomes a delightful experience. Get up early. Exercise. Hit the books. Make the calls.
- You have permission to serve with
excellence. Mediocrity confers
no honor. Why not go the extra mile
to do outstanding work, rather than “just good enough?” A little more preparation, extra effort,
and attention to detail might just put you in the winner’s circle.
So what are you waiting for?
You have permission to get started on your new life right away.
Contact Leadership Development Author and Speaker, Gene C.
Mage, at www.makingitwork.com to
access free resources for leaders.