Real winners win with style

Gene Mage

“You’re a player”, noted a colleague about ten years ago as my career in the corporate fast lane was kicking into passing gear. But I am beginning to wonder what, exactly, was meant by that compliment. And it was definitely a compliment. To be called a player in that particular organization had some pretty attractive connotations. Players got promoted. Players got the choice assignments and prestigious customers. Players were welcomed into the best social circles and inner sanctums of decision making. Who wouldn’t want to be a player?

Well me, for one. I learned something that was probably obvious to others less naïve than yours truly. I learned that most of corporate life is a game. The business exists not to serve customers, build communities, or produce wealth for the stockholders. The business is often merely a vehicle through which strong-willed, determined, and competitive individuals feed their compelling need to win. I have been there, and I have played that game. And I am not proud of my years as a player.

If you have been following sports news recently, you may have caught the refreshingly honest autobiography of the New York Giants’ legendary linebacker, Lawrence Taylor. Behind the athletes, game-plans, and Jumbotrons that are the “business” of the National Football League, Taylor candidly talks about a more sordid unseen world. If winning meant injuring an opponent badly enough to end his career, so be it. If winning meant destroying your health or your life with steroids, you just did what you had to do. If winning meant paying cash bounties to knock players out of the game, you did what it took to win. It reminds me of Al Davis’ command to the Oakland Raiders, “Just win, baby”.

Contrast that “win at all costs” philosophy with that of Hall of Fame football coach, Joe Gibbs. Joe Gibbs, one of the most fiercely competitive individuals of our time, amassed the highest winning percentage of any NFL coach in history, and continued his success in the NASCAR arena. Yet he tempered his will to win with a commitment to things that matter more than trophies on the mantle. Gibbs’ charge to his Super Bowl-bound Washington Redskins? “Win with Style”.

There are three types of people in the world. First there are losers, who consistently make bad choices and reap disappointment as a natural consequence. Second, there are the “Just win baby” Al Davis types, who act out their childhood pathologies by “winning” over others no matter the cost. And third, there are the real winners, people who win with style. They are winners at more than career advancement.

Can you really wreck your health, fail at multiple relationships, act ruthlessly towards others, leave a trail of resentment in your wake, and call yourself a winner? I am sorry, but no amount of recognition, titles, and cash in the bank will make up for a lifetime of misplaced priorities.

You know who you are when you look in the mirror and no amount of external affirmation can make that reality go away. You know if you shaded the truth. You know if you rehearsed the shortcomings of others in order to advance your career and validate your tender ego. You know if you treated people with fairness and sincerity, or with manipulation and intimidation.

But I have a secret for you; everybody else knows too. The ruthless person wakes up to discover that he or she has no genuine relationships, only climbers looking to hitch their wagon to a star. And when your star dims, they will gladly dump you for someone with even greater power and prestige.

Real winners win with style. Here are five steps for “Winning with style”.

1. Write down a more complete definition of success.
2. Conduct sober self-assessment.
3. Commit to change.
4. Start your most important change today.
5. Stick with it for 21 days.

For a free report entitled “26 ways to Win with Style”, visit Syndicated Columnist Gene C. Mage at www.makingitwork.com.