Three elements of a complete communication

 

Gene Mage

 

Business rises and falls on effective communication.  Information flows up and down the chain of command, sideways between departments, and to and from the customer.  And as we all know, miscommunication leads to mistakes and conflicts.

 

Sadly, most people misunderstand the concept of communication.  “I communicated that new program,” complains the executive.  “We sent out a memo.”  But sending a memo is not communication.  “OK,” he replies, “But we also sent out a voice message announcement.”  But a voice message announcement is not communication either. 

 

I like Webster’s definition, “To transmit information, thought, or feeling so that it is satisfactorily received or understood.”  Sending a message is only a small part of communication.  Effective leaders take responsibility for the whole process, which contains three elements:

 

  1. Sending.  Your goal when sending a message is to maximize the odds that it will be received in the way you intended.  Every message begins with a thought or intention.  You attach words to what you mean and articulate the words you would like to express. 

    But how those words are interpreted by the receiver depends much upon how they think and feel about your words.  Listeners filter your words through their own perspective, based on their life experience.  Listeners also interpret what those words mean based upon visual and non-verbal cues they pick up, especially facial expressions, tone of voice, and body-language.  The better you understand the needs and perspectives of the receiver, the more skillfully you can craft your message so it is more likely to be received as you intended.

  2. Receiving.  Your goal when listening to a message is to maximize the odds that you hear it the way it was intended by the sender.  This begins by recognizing that you have your own set of filters through which you interpret what you hear.  To listen “empathically”, or from another’s perspective, you adopt an entirely different mindset.  Instead of thinking, “How will I respond?” you ask yourself, “Where is this person coming from?”  When you put aside all distractions and focus your attention on the speaker, you will fully and accurately “get” the message.

    Next, you provide feedback to the speaker to check and see if what you think you heard is what the speaker meant.  In the nineteen sixties, the concept of “active listening” became popular, in which the listener would repeat back what they heard using a script such as, “So, what I hear you saying is, you’re upset over Karen’s tardiness.” 

    Most people subjected to that kind of mechanical parroting find it incredibly irritating.  By contrast, skillful listeners learn to paraphrase what they heard using their own words and a natural tone, “It sound’s like Karen’s tardiness has gotten really frustrating.”  Through their tone and manner, effective listeners communicate that they hear both the message and the emotion behind the message. 

  3. Processing.  So far we have sending and receiving.  At this point, we have completed a transaction.  But communication goes far beyond merely exchanging information.  Once two people are on the same page, they can engage in a dialog to process that information.  They compare, contrast, and interpret the facts based on their experiences.  They explore alternatives, analyze root causes, and commit to take action.  This process of synthesis takes two perspectives and creates something new.  Too often, we spend so much time advocating our own point of view that we completely miss the good aspects of what someone else has to offer.

 

So how do you apply the three elements of effective communication?

 

© 2004 Gene C. Mage All Rights Reserved