Memories

I'm going to do some things differently

Gene Mage

What would you do differently if today was your last day on earth, and your legacy would be determined by the actions you took, and the words you spoke, today?

Were I to answer honestly I would have to change some things. I am falling short when it comes to aligning my every day actions with my good intentions. Let’s face it. Today could be my last day. I might not have a tomorrow to make amends. I may not get a second chance to do those things that I have so often left undone.

So starting today, I’m going to do some things differently.

Stop comparing. “Comparisons are odious”, noted 17^th Century Author Robert Burton in The Anatomy of Melancholy. Nothing will steal your joy faster than comparing yourself with others. Are you grading your life on a curve? The only measure of a man is how far he goes relative to his unique potential.
Show more grace. I hope that I will not be judged by how I act on my worst day. I need to give others more grace for their bad days. I think I will tend to judge my friends and associates according to their best days instead.
Express gratitude. I am thankful for all those who have served our country, who willingly and freely laid down their lives for people they would never meet. Who, with pure courage and single-minded commitment, made it possible for all of us cowardly, complaining, and dithering citizens to express our opinion.
Trust. I would not want to live my last day on earth numbered among those who huddle fearfully in the face of tomorrow. I choose to exercise my faith that the world is not spinning hopelessly and helplessly out of control. He still holds the world in His hands.
Explore. Driving through these beautiful Finger Lakes I am struck by the hundreds of paths I have yet to take. I wonder where they lead. Some reach waterfalls, others follow creeks, and a few lead to forgotten clearings unspoiled by time and progress. I think I am going to take a minute to step off the paved pathways.
Focus on what is real. Occasionally a household full of belongings gets auctioned off in my neighborhood. I find it fascinating to look over all the junk that gets sold for pennies on the dollar once the occupants pass away. All this stuff, accomplishments, and ego trips we spend our precious lives collecting end up in some garage sale. But some things are real. My relationship with my wife. My two boys. Doing something meaningful for others. Those things last. Those things matter.
Fearlessly invest myself. When I fully give myself to another person, or to a cause, or to a project, I take a major risk. The closer I get to others the greater the pain of their betrayal. The more of myself I pour into a great cause the greater I suffer when that cause loses ground. The greater the challenge, the greater the embarrassment should I fall short. But I think I am going to do all those things anyway. Pain is inevitable. I would rather experience the pain of loving too much, caring too much, and trying too hard, than the slow death of living life inside a confined chamber called “safety.”
Not take things personally. In midlife I am learning two lessons, “It’s not about me.”, and “It’s not about the money.” Happiness is between my ears. Just because others act in offensive ways does not obligate me to take offense. “It’s not about me.”
Ask for help. I have always been the prototypical rugged individualist. But time and time again I have discovered that the solutions to my problems, the resources and support I need, are right there if I am willing to swallow my pride and admit that I need help.

Syndicated Columnist Gene C. Mage is author of the book, Managing for High Performance. For more information visit www.makingitwork.com.