How to deal with a difficult boss

Gene Mage

Employees have the right to expect certain things from their employer. These include: a safe work environment; clear expectations for job performance; regular feedback; and a paycheck. Most people also want the opportunity to learn, grow, and feel appreciated. Still others derive satisfaction from meaningful work, expressing creativity, and taking responsibility.

Yet even within the same organization, employees’ perceptions vary widely as to how well that employer meets expectations. Much of that variation results from a dynamic observed in workplace research; about seventy five percent of employees’ perceptions of the workplace reflect the relationship with an immediate supervisor.

But we rarely have the luxury of choosing a boss. And while a boss may irritate and disappoint us, it takes a great deal of maturity to discern between the boss’s behaviors and what we personally bring into the situation. Some employees are so needy and demanding that no boss on earth could ever meet their expectations.

But what if you are a good employee that happens to have a not-so-great boss? The good news is that you can both survive and thrive in that situation. Here are five positive approaches you may want to consider:

Empower yourself. Author Peter Block once told me, “You don’t need your boss to create the world you want to live in.” In other words, stop living as though your happiness and success were dependent on someone else. Who says you cannot enjoy your work even if your boss does not meet your expectations? You can choose your perspective, your attitude, and your behaviors; never surrender that power to an outside force.
Think long term. During the course of any typical career you will probably be faced with a menagerie of bosses ranging from those you idolize, to those whose mere presence makes you break out in a cold sweat. Good and bad bosses are a part of every career. So why not learn to roll with the punches? Focus on your long term goal, do your job well and move on.
Learn. You often learn far more from an irritating boss than from the cuddly puppies you just adore. Annoying people usually remind us of those aspects of ourselves we would really rather forget. So reflect. Ask yourself, “Why does this person upset me?” Perhaps that person triggers an emotional memory from your life experience that has nothing to do with the present circumstance. Maybe it’s your stuff.

But what if the boss is truly incompetent or unsupportive? Take notes so you will remember what not to do when you sit in the boss’s chair some day.
Be supportive. Smart employees learn to compensate for their boss’s weaknesses to make the whole team more effective. Rather than wasting time talking about how unfair it is that such a flawed specimen was put in authority, forward thinking employees look for ways to be supportive. An arrogant, insecure person sits in judgment on others while overlooking his or her own faults and foibles.

By contrast, supportive employees make themselves successful by making their organizations successful.
Exercise integrity. Remember the golden rule. How would you like to be treated if you were in the boss’s shoes? Would you really want to be undermined and badmouthed behind your back? Treat the boss the way you would want to be treated.

Sometimes, in spite of your best efforts, you may conclude it is best to just get out of the situation. In that case, politely seek to move into a more conducive environment. But be careful. As Peter Block notes, “Wherever you go, you will create the same issues for yourself, if not right away, then over time.”

Of course, if you feel you are the victim of actual harassment from a superior, you have the right and responsibility to report incidents to your Human Resources department and ask for help.